How do I Cope with Grief and Loss?

Coping with loss is not easy and putting undue pressure on one’s self or anyone else to follow a plotted course to recovery is not suggested. It is not certain that each or any of the stages of grief will be entered at any particular time or order. Often, people may exhibit characteristics of more than one grief stage at the same time and freely move between stages without any evidence of healing. There is simply no time frame to recover from grief nor should there be. And, under no circumstance should there be any shame associated with feeling certain emotions or not feeling them.

Learn more about the 5 stages of grief now.

Grief is a very important part of the process whenever we suffer feelings of loss. People experience grief for a variety of reasons such as a changing jobs, moving to a new location, or a significant loss of a pet, spouse, child or parent. Grief is a human way to deal with the feelings of love that we believe have ended. There is no one way to grieve, nor is there one solution for everyone. Every individual grieves differently. Also, our society at large does not offer us a general way to honor or cope with grief. Since we are a society that is always struggling with things like time management and high pressures or demands, taking time to grieve…or even knowing how to grieve…is not part of our system.

Tools to Cope with Loss

During bereavement it is a good idea to reach beyond one’s comfort zone and rely on a support system made of friends, relatives, grief counselors, support groups and/or faith based activities. Even though grieving is quite personal, others have been through it and seeking out support can be very empowering.

Religion and Faith

Most religions have rituals that can be followed to help with grief and how to grieve a loss. These rituals can provide us with a way to get through the initial shock of grief, and there are many religious organizations and affiliations who are willing to lend a helping hand through individual and group support. However, as many people know who have been through a loss, when the rituals of religion end there is still grieve and the adjustment of loss to deal with.

Grief Books

There are many books written about grief and many suggestions as to how to deal with loss. These grief books can guide you through your pain and enlighten you how to move forward with your life. But as stated before there is no one single way to grieve, and each person and their situation is unique. Part of that is due to the physical and emotional reactions we have to grief. As human beings, when we experience a significant loss, our body’s initial reaction can often be a state of shock, causing us to disconnect from the reality of the situation we are dealing with. Then, after this initial shock of grief, we begin to feel the effects of things like fear, loss, loneliness, and simply overwhelmed with the idea of how this will affect our lives. Reading different types of grief books may open your eyes to new feelings and ideas and help ease your grief.

Your Support System

It is from these kinds of difficult situations that cause many people to feel confused and even hopeless, which is exactly why it is necessary to turn to family and friends. Having a strong support system can play such an important role in knowing you’re not alone and that there are others who understand what you’re going through as they may have or be going through a period of grief and loss themselves.Our significant loss affects our life in many ways. How are we going to manage without this person in our life? How will we adjust financially, socially and personally? How will we be able to take on the role of the other person?

One of the major elements in how we grieve is determined by what kind of support system we have. Do we have family and friends who can help us deal with the changes in our life? When we have people we have people to turn to it can really help the grieving process. When we don’t have good support system grief can become too much for one person to deal with. If the case of the latter, this would be a time to seek grief counseling.

Professional Grief Counseling

Grief counseling can help you move through the grief easier and more effectively. Grief counseling is a particularly effective method of dealing with grief. Simply seeking out and visiting a counselor will not take away the pain of losing a loved one, but being pro active and seeking support to assess and set up a plan of action for recovery is a step in the right direction.

A good professional grief counselor or program will help you identify where you are in the grief process and understand what needs to occur to develop a new way of coping with your life, and learning to live without the significant person you have lost. Grief counseling will also help you deal with the feelings and emotions of your loss, both through learning and expressing these feelings with others. There are many examples of the different stages of grief. Elizabeth Kubler Ross was a pioneer in the area of grief and loss. She developed the stages of grief that are now an important aspect of grief counseling.

Additional Information About Grief and Loss:

Loss of a Child
Loss of a Parent
Loss of a Pet
Loss of a Sibling
Loss of a Spouse